Gandhi appears an IT interview...

Disclaimer : No offense intended. In my due respect to Bapu.

The lean fellow was told to take a chair . With a beatific smile and more-than-required ingenuity , he cornered his bony structure on the nearest one. But before he could smell the surrounding , the interviewer asked him his good name . 
'Mahatma Gandhi "  He responded with the same etiquette.
'What?' The interviewer was not sure for if he heard it clearly .

(The loud campaigners' ear-bursting calls for the coming Prime ministerial position as youth icon Rahul Gandhi , could be partly contributing to the interviewer's inability to listen properly, But this  was also true that the job seeker was next to whispering only.)

" I am Mahatma Gandhi" The fellow underlined.

'Are you sure with your name ? '  The interviewer yelled almost  " Who allowed you appear for this interview ? Don't you know that we are looking for Software Engineers and NOT any hermits, sage or mahatma ? '

' I badly need this job ' the replier's voice was too dim and was soaked in extreme politeness .

The interviewer almost X-rayed him from top-to-bottom . Something inside him relaxed his adrenaline. 

He asked Gandhi - 'Give me your CV. So do you have at least 16 years of education ?  If not, please don't waste my time'.
The interviewee felt bit comfortable. He handover-ed the CV to his interviewer  .
For another 5 mins , he could listen the humming of the person seating in front -   ".. studied law.. Truth ...Africa.... Freedom struggles... non violence... "

'Hmm.. so do I look like mad to you . Do you think I'll believe your this proxy? Get lost ...... don't waste my time. I don't like such jokes'  Interviewer was fiery red.

Gandhi had a cocktail of surprise , sorrow and confusion in his mind.
He mustered to utter this much only - ' Sir! I don't lie . This is me only'

A pin drop  silence prevailed to the every corner of the room - a silence of graveyard in fact.

'Okay - for the time being - I believe you , then too ... what about your name first - Besides being hermit (Mahtma) , you bear many other sobriquets - Mohandas, Bapu.. and .. Father of Nation ... . You must've got many other funny names I suppose "  - The interviewer was satirical now. ' Do you have affidavits for all your names? '
He added "And how can you be father of this nation ? Are you married? How many children you have actually ?"- He roared with laughter this time.

The interviewee was silent hitherto .

 " Sir, I don't have any affidavits. I tried but couldn't get  (whimsical he was ).
I am very used to these names and don't know their provenance . I can only remember that some gentleman called Subhas, started calling me 'Father of Nation'. 
I don't have any idea what was the intention of that gentleman to give me this uncomfortable tag , but he was sane enough to qualify Civil Service. " Gandhi finished.

'Okay, Okay .. I am least bothered to listen your all this drama. Tell me what experience you have in IT ? '

" Sir , I don't have any in IT , and as I am bound to be true , I can't add the fake ones from Hyderabad too . However, I have very good experience in leadership . I seat comfortably in the position of team lead or manager "--- The interviewee hesitated to utter the last sentence.

' Oh Crumbs !! NIL experience and Manager . You are really MAD .'  The interviewer cry made Gandhi uneasy again . ' Tell me any other talent you have ? Or, do you know anyone in this company , any acquaintance, relative....? '
Gandhi nodded in nay.

' I am not sure I can help you anymore ' The interviewer sounded as diplomatic in saying this as he'd learnt in his entirety of career. "But , one thing for which I am still inquisitive ....  If you are the same what you are in this paper ... why don't you continue as a lawyer or nationalist ? Why do you want this not-your-cup-of-tea mood change?

The job seeker was already nonplussed .

He managed to say - "Sir, Lawyer have turned liar and lie is at a pole distance for me. My knowledge in laws is of no use as there have been so many amendments in it  that I am obsolete for this. The corrupts make law now. Entire democratic law is mob-ocratic now  I really wanted to be nationalist - but  the party I'd formed is full of GOONS now "

 The Interviewee  couldn't stop - 'My troubles are uncountable - Many people are coming forward , but less to fight the corruption and more to emulate me"

The lip-stitched interviewer found the man interesting first time.

He couldn't resist to ask - "Do you have any relation with our to-be- PM Rahul Gandhi and his clan by any sheer chance?".

"No, The worst is that now people are using my name too , particularly a clan who has no blood relation with me - but is still 'Gandhi' . I myself am duplicate now.'
" Moreover, today's pseudo - intelligent have stigmatize me for the division of a nation" He was deep sad.

It was interviewer's time to be confused who was hitherto smiling.

" Since my halcyon days are over - I badly need a job to survive. I couldn't even imagine PSU or Govt jobs.  I thought that I won't have to be corrupt or liar in IT - but reckon  I was wrong again. " -  The perplexed job seeker cleared his throat . And emotions too.

"So how old are you? I really want to help you now . I will manage job experience certificate for you . You've to give up your stubbornness  and learn some coding . " The interviewer was inched a bit by the story.

"Sir, I don't need any job now. I think my task is done here.  Perhaps you didn't notice my CV properly " 

The interviewee was gone.

The interviewer turned the CV and read on the top :

CURRICULUM VITAE
Mahatma Gandhi
Born  : Oct 02, 1869
Assassinated : Jan 30, 1948

He was dumbstruck, nonplussed, perplexed, anxious and ...............

Speak !!

Mother India!

With a very deep grudge in my heart , with the apologies for the beseeches I am going to make for your offspring  & with the extreme shame for my indifference to the same herd mentality , I am expressing here my rant-and-raves to you. Words may not be exact but I know you will understand the notion.

Undoubted are your purity and sacredness, but you can't persist to be so much longer. If offspring commit mistakes, the mother has to bear with all of them later on. But, your offspring are committing blunders with maturer reflection and are doing it perpetually . No, my intention is not to make aware of what is happening around because you are more acquainted than I am . It is just my way of expressing my concerns that will lighten my burden . Pardon me for being selfish in this.

Your offspring have taken undue advantages of your innocence. They emulate you in quietness when they require it selling the fame of your morality , your greatness and your grand heritages. If we talk of our snail pace growth that left us behind many contemporary freed nations , your offspring make an excuse of moral values they ostensibly preserved. When we talk of population burst, again the moral values perseverance becomes the shield. When we talk of religious robbery , moral values that they protected helps them to raise the head up.
I just want to urge you  that if preserving this moral stuff is actually pushing us behind the other 'immoral nations' , then can't you be bit more liberal and allow us too to be 'immoral' . I know you had no concern for this ever but your offspring had it always. Your morally educated offspring are not leaving any stone unturned - they are second best rapist, they are second best masculine (see the whooping number), they are least bothered to physical paraphernalia (can survive with 28 bucks too) but still luxuriated the life with not much tension. Your offspring are genuine smart work believer (hard workers are peasants - they are not so  with immense pride !) .
I search my room and could not find a single object - neither the fan nor the safety pin- that your offspring ever devised or made  - but see how 'smart' they are in saving your treasury that everywhere they affectionately label your name. Your offspring are real intelligent - each one is born with not with a potential of engineer-cum-manager-singer-cum-writer-cum-painter . Whose child has such a all-in-one quality . What a real Leonardo da Vincis are your offspring! Sorry ! I didn't mention medical and political knowledge and leadership instinct (I guess I am not undermining this important value) in 'cum' to glue with because these are the skills mandatory available in each one of your offspring effortlessly.

 Now that I have praised them so , allow me not to be miser for the few left ones. They are the best citizen of the world making largest democracy (Nah! I am not saying it mobocracy). They house all sorts of -ism : Caste-ism, regionalism, religion-ism, racism,nepotism ,communal ism altogether but still all are brothers and sisters . (I remember the school pledge - India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters..... am sure many used to skip this second line for their personal reasons).
Your offspring don't let their kins behind and move in unison. They have developed a reservation system (they have just got it 49%  soon they will improve in this numerical value too) for ensuring each one together in the unison. What happened if they failed to bring the backward ones to the front - equality can be brought other way too . Bring the front ones to back by devising a system (I remember a device with similar properties called 'Com-pander' - bear with my irrelevant attempt to be techie). Quiet Easy na! I would congrats your offspring for this success at least .

So where was I ? Yes , I was jotting down you my concerns (complaints actually) to your offspring. But , I could not count any . I am sorry . I was misguided to bring-forth the complaints . Your offspring are impeccable!

{The author is an idiot , who does never mind if his friends may take his blabbers offensive . Of Course, his words can't be ignored for his inadvertence]
[The title got its name because author was watching Kristen Stewart's Speak while he was writing this.]