I am feeling very lonely and ostracized today . So was I yesterday and the day before , thus today does not differ them . Blame me for not being gregarious or for my arrogance , but I am used to all these. I miss my pasts today with no dithering the fact that the past is always better than the present for most of us (exceptions persist).
Gone are the friends and my alma, I turned more corporate and experienced (could never figure out what sort of) . Standing at this platform and waiting for the train to arrive . I see a man who sketches okay and manage to get the attraction by his arts if not much money in this insipid, damp climate. People appreciated his talent at least to the extent they are not required to pay for. On my way to the station , I saw another talent - a man who was singing on a pulpit and was able to garner some good ovations. I am sometimes fascinated with the talents mushroomed in filthy streets , platforms, bars and such many-wheres. Though not able to recollect the definite reason but I have some inadvertent jealousy in myself - it may be because I could not be anointed by any such talent or because I am believer of thoughts that the classified talents are particulars to jazz only and mustn't be among such below mediocre mass .
The train arrived and I occupy B2,36. I am lonely as usual I say myself , but I am proved wrong this time. In this ocean of mob, one can't be alone for long even if one wants , and I don't want. My turn to be aghast by another talents - couple of chocked with confident fellow passengers with cement firm beliefs of each being jack of all trades. i am the silent spectator willy-nilly - partially because I don't have any talent and partially because I like their adamant discussions somewhere.
Having met such talents like painters, photographers, singers and leaders - I am worried why I could not get any of these talents. Where are they produced & where I missed to get them? After maturer reflections, I am ushered to my past (lonely pasts), I am reminiscent to my alma. In our alma, we usually have some self proclaimed singers, painters, dancers and photographers . don't we ? Nailed!- So, I guess these inchoate talents do ripe later on.
But, what happened to me? Why could not I be any? And , the talents I saw today were hardly from any alma. Had they any, they were improvised to at least to the extent they get 100s of 'likes' in their Facebooks. They were not seeking for the appreciations , ovations and some meager amounts in the places they do it today. They were not 'disturbing' others to get that fame (some like me feel so certainly afterwards). I forget my loneliness and ruminate. Is this the alma they are deprived of , which is restricting them to get even some Facebook 'likes' . Will the alma be able to improvise those self proclaimed singers, photographers and adamant leaders (this nation has no dearth of them for sure) or will they come in the same inchoate talents with 'just' a privilege of getting 'likes'.We have many already. I am thinking.
Gone are the friends and my alma, I turned more corporate and experienced (could never figure out what sort of) . Standing at this platform and waiting for the train to arrive . I see a man who sketches okay and manage to get the attraction by his arts if not much money in this insipid, damp climate. People appreciated his talent at least to the extent they are not required to pay for. On my way to the station , I saw another talent - a man who was singing on a pulpit and was able to garner some good ovations. I am sometimes fascinated with the talents mushroomed in filthy streets , platforms, bars and such many-wheres. Though not able to recollect the definite reason but I have some inadvertent jealousy in myself - it may be because I could not be anointed by any such talent or because I am believer of thoughts that the classified talents are particulars to jazz only and mustn't be among such below mediocre mass .
The train arrived and I occupy B2,36. I am lonely as usual I say myself , but I am proved wrong this time. In this ocean of mob, one can't be alone for long even if one wants , and I don't want. My turn to be aghast by another talents - couple of chocked with confident fellow passengers with cement firm beliefs of each being jack of all trades. i am the silent spectator willy-nilly - partially because I don't have any talent and partially because I like their adamant discussions somewhere.
Having met such talents like painters, photographers, singers and leaders - I am worried why I could not get any of these talents. Where are they produced & where I missed to get them? After maturer reflections, I am ushered to my past (lonely pasts), I am reminiscent to my alma. In our alma, we usually have some self proclaimed singers, painters, dancers and photographers . don't we ? Nailed!- So, I guess these inchoate talents do ripe later on.
But, what happened to me? Why could not I be any? And , the talents I saw today were hardly from any alma. Had they any, they were improvised to at least to the extent they get 100s of 'likes' in their Facebooks. They were not seeking for the appreciations , ovations and some meager amounts in the places they do it today. They were not 'disturbing' others to get that fame (some like me feel so certainly afterwards). I forget my loneliness and ruminate. Is this the alma they are deprived of , which is restricting them to get even some Facebook 'likes' . Will the alma be able to improvise those self proclaimed singers, photographers and adamant leaders (this nation has no dearth of them for sure) or will they come in the same inchoate talents with 'just' a privilege of getting 'likes'.We have many already. I am thinking.
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