'What a damsel she is ! But what's the use? I wish I were traveling in Sleeper ' - I thought seeing her.
This was one of my several yawning journey in Indian Railway. But , unlike all other times when I traveled such lonely boring tos- and- fros , this journey of mine was unplanned and different . I was returning to Bangalore from Jabalpur , after shouldering my parents to 'see' a girl there for my elder brother .
By the time the train halted at a station named 'Betul' for just 2 minutes, I was already ostracized for past seven hours. The train was 2 hours late (this is very much usual in Indian railways and I can't blame it to extend my sordid journey . actually I am accustomed of this) and I my attempt to get an evening time-pass tea could turn fruitful only when I got a tasteless railway tea. The train was PPTA YPR EXP and I had got side lower berth B41 in AC3 .
It was 5 PM and I was forcibly paying heed on Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies. After all , what else was I supposed to do when I had already taken a power nap of 2 hour and had eaten till I was not likely to be hungry for coming several hours. All the neighbor berths were already occupied , the opposite one side by a couple with their two kids while the other side by an uncle in his sexagenarian with his better-half, who was considerably younger. The TTE asked me if someone came to the unoccupied berth B42 in 'Betul' and I expressed my unawareness. He went.
After 15 minutes of train's departure from the station , someone asked me ' Is this B42?' .
I was still reading and without bothering to look up I answered her . I heard a sigh of relief.
Later I was asked "Would you please move aside , I need to go up? " I looked up . She was pretty young, thin -fair girl. She was attractive and tall , and may be in her 22nd winter ( the date was 28th December - winter in India ) . Though I didn't let her know , but I kept on seeing her while she took her paraphernalia and while she was climbing to the upper berth. She was in typical Indian girl's dress- Salwar-kurta- green color with appropriate cut was perfectly matching to her. She was damsel in true sense . I noticed her till she stationed her second foot too - small, fair and perfectly nailed - to the upper berth. She asked me to switch on the upper light and I did. I started reading and perhaps She was sleeping.
At around 8PM , She came down for bathroom . I was still reading.
" Excuse me-Can I charge my mobile? " She asked me.
Not all Power Cords were working and the neighboring couple had already given me their Ipod for charging . I conveyed her the same. On asking me for when the Cord would be vacated I should inform her, she went up and slept again. I thought to awake and tell her at 11PM when the power cord was vacated and She could charge her mobile, but I did not tell her . Firstly, because I did not feel comfortable to awake an stranger girl upon siding the curtain of her berth and, Secondly, because I too was willing to sleep as most of my neighbors had already in slumber, So her charging of mobile could disturb me ( I assumed She would have kept the mobile on my berth only). I finished the novel before mid night and slept. The inner light of my berth was not functioning , so I hadn't to switch off that.
I woke up a few minutes before the train stationed Vijaywada in the morning . I rushed to brush up my teeth before other co-passengers wake up to chock the bathroom . Having gulped in a couple of idlis , I backed to my berth and was heading to start another novel I had - Stay hungry, Stay foolish. I had ample time to finish this book as I I was supposed to reach Bangalore by 9 PM . So, I had 14 hours and this only book to ogle into . Co-passengers had woken up and so was the girl in upper berth.
"May I seat here" She asked upon perhaps returning from washroom . I nodded aye. The train had gained back its speed. Seating on my berth, she was looking towards the window and I towards the very first page of the book.
"Where are you going? " she tried to breach the silence.
'Bangalore' - with this objective type answer I snapped the conversation. I was in page two with all my deliberate concentration.
" You study or work ? " She started after 5 minutes.
"Work"
Silence of another four- five minutes . Ostensibly I turned to page three , but actually I had not read a single line. You are not supposed to do so , when a gorgeous nymphet is seating in front of you.
' Had your breakfast? '
'Hmm' I didn't bother to ask about her.
Not that I want to be rude or didn't want to engulf in the rudimentary formalities of her conversation , but perhaps it was not in my DNA. With no reason apart from my shyness to the strange girl , I was pretending to be reserved and started reading again.
' So Which company you work in ? '
'IBM' I didn't look up.
' And where is your home town ? '
' I am coming from Jabalpur, but I am from UP'
' What are you reading ? '
' A novel . I like books. Would you like to read something? I have another book too'
'Hmmm' She nodded .
I took out the book I read last night . This was, in fact, my trick to make her silent. Once she would read she won't 'interview' me - though somewhere I was liking the conversation or, the conversationalist actually.
'What is this book all about ? ' She turned the book's preface.
' It's Pulitzer winner -a damn good . You don't have read from beginning . It consists several deep-meaning stories . You can start from anyone ' inadvertently I explored all my intelligence to the girl.
' Hmm, Ok...... ' She was turning the book , but I didn't listen the keenness in her voice for the book that an avid reader usually has after listening a good review for a book.
Five minutes later...
' Take this' - She had taken out some dry-fruit sweets from her luggage . She offered me to take some sweets . I tried to deny , but this too was not in my DNA.
' Where did you study your Engg? ' She was taking her breakfast and I was her witness with the offered sweets of her breakfast.
" NIT" I corrected myself for 'where' in the question - ' NIT Jamshedpur'
I'd understood by this time that this girl would not let me read . She'd avalanche of questions that were coming every now and then . I had tried to make her silent by giving her a book , but she trapped me in turn, giving her breakfast- so that she could make me stop reading and talk.
I'd chucked the book aside finally.
'So What are your hobbies apart from reading? - she persisted on.
I counted her a few of my hobbies - some of them were too old and had died , while for some I had just a slight plan in future.
'You must be knowing Hindi.. Shall we talk in Hindi? '
' Yes I do' I nodded.
She started delving down in some of my mentioned hobbies. Though not sure how much of her business were my hobbies , but one thing I had concluded that, she had sensed perfectly that I didn't have attitude problem and my replies in 'words' rather than in 'sentences' were attributed to my inherent behavior.
While We started talking, First time I glanced her paying a bit attention . I had seen her last evening but not so meticulously. Now I could not resist to see her merely to her face . She was charming fair skin - a cherubic face, but a possessed buxom - black glittering eyes, long black straight hair - svelte structure with appropriately broad hips - painted nails- and, adjectives go on . Though I was not interested, but I could not resist to see the deep valley between her curvy breasts, which were apparent from her Salwar-Suit-with-no-dupatta. I got an avalanche of mixed feelings for her in a minute, which undeniably included the feeling of sex too. She had pulled the curtain too to refrain the full-fledged air conditioner .
I controlled perfectly and lastly.
We talked about our interests and tried to figure out the common ones. She was basically from a small town and not many of her cousins were even graduated. She was the one among girls to be an engineer. She was Java developer in a Software company in Bangalore, where she was living with her brother & Sister-in-law.
She told she did not like her sister-in-law, who made her work all though kitchen stuff and all domestic works , even when she was tired of office works. She complained that her brother too favored his wife and sometimes she felt to live away from them. But, If she did so, her parents would feel hurt, and she could not hurt her parents. She told that she wanted to switch her job to Nagpur so that she could visit her parents weekly and help her .
She asked me about my friends and my family and we turned more and more friendly in an hour.
Then , She asked me about my college and she shared her alma days, We talked all funny stuffs , We laughed a lot - together and again.
She asked me if I had a girlfriend and I told her I liked one girl but could not say anything . She suggested me to tell this to the girl I liked . All girls show attitude initially and it's mandatory to some extent , but all girls like a truthful love.
She offered me coffee , and I denied politely . She took one for herself and threw after one sip . it was just sugary water she said. I offered her biscuits, and she ate without hesitation . We were hungry by the time we reached Chennai ( at 3 PM afternoon) as we both disliked Indian Railway foods and had not taken any.
At Chennai junction, I went down to get something to eat . She said she had never came down of the train in between the journey as her mother instructed her so. I offered her to come down as there was halt of 20 minutes and she followed me. We didn't get many things and I purchased waterbottle, softdrinks, bananas and some cookies (some of her favorite and some mine) . I didn't let her buy anything. I could not understand why that feeling came into me- perhaps I was senior to her - a thumb rule.
While we ate together to kill our hunger, she said more about her and her family etc.
That her month's salary went in cherishing gifts for her cousins and aunts whenever she went back home, but she was happy.
That her manager and a few team members in her office were nymphomaniac and her manager looked her 'differently' that she hated a lot . I suggested her not to give them much space.
That she was 'Rajpoot' and was likely to be married in one of the eighteen villages nearby her hometown , where other 'Rajpoots' of same category reside - a social constraint to be followed. We laughed till cramps in stomach when she told that of the eighteen villages most of the boys are directly or indirectly her brother and she could not marry.
That her parents were isolated from the family because her father had love marriage . So due to this reason and and also because her father was educated (none of his brothers transcended matriculation ) , she has freedom to like and marry a boy. But, she 'forgot' to like anyone in her college and now she had regret as she did not get 'good options' . I laughed a lot on this , but I smelled some seriousness in her.
We bought some 'Badda' from a passing by vendor and of the five in total, We ate two and half each- a perfect distribution - and surprisingly, in the same plate. Was it more like siblings or like a couple? I could never figure out . Also, she didn't give a damn on this.
It was 6 PM evening and conditioner was full fledged. I was feeling cold. I already had pulled the curtain of my berth. But now it was evening and inside light of my berth was not working. I was feeling uncomfortable to be with a girl beside the curtain in the ascending darkness.
" Will you give me the blanket? It's too cold ." She asked.
I gave her the blanket . She thanked.
' You too are shivering . Let's share this' She offered
'No, I will take out my sweater'
'OK baba, take out when you reach Bangalore. For now, We can share no. " She offered.
I regretted for my habit of not saying 'No' once again.
It never happened in my life that I shared same blanket with a girl - a stranger to be precise- and that too I darkness. Though she had touched me friendly while talking, laughing and making fun of her, but now I was too uncomfortable with her presence in same blanket .
My feet got touched to her leg. I was almost feeling her physical warmth . She was a youth in her puberty and I was till-now-controlled man. Once a sordid idea came into my mind to grasp her in the blanket and to kiss her . Somewhere in my mind it was there that this girl had got some feeling for me and would not stop me making a physical relation too. She only had given me this much of space after all.
Saw her in the dim light coming from a passing by station - She was casual. A very good careful friend. No lust and hundred percent pristine. She had an strange belief for me that I couldn't harm her or let anyone harm her. I killed my monster. I aced in exorcizing all filthiness out of my mind.
"Why these two aunts are sneaking into our curtain? " She asked .
' They are over-thinking as we are in dark ' Ignore them. Issue is to the mediocre Indian mentality ' I told . We laughed.
We kept on talking and laughing like before . From her talk I concluded two things - firstly she was very good girl who does not mind her own harms as long as she is making others happy, secondly, She didn't have much ambitions in her life or career , but all she wanted or cared was to be loved - from friends, from parents , from family and from the boy she would marry.
It was 8 PM and her station was approaching . She was to get down one station (KR puram) earlier than mine- as she had detour from there to her location. She told me that she liked the day and that she was one of her best day in her life. Of course ! to me it was similar, but i didn't express it vociferously and she did. She told me how we talked continuous fourteen hours - a duration that turned us strangers to good trustworthy friends. This was 'different' day for both of us. She recapped the day when we started talking . She mocked over my 'objective' answers and my offer to 'read' a novel (she hated novels) . We laughed. strange , but all these things had happened not a day before.
Her station arrived and I took out her luggage to the platform . She was sad in her appearance and I could hide mine unsuccessfully . Perhaps she was in love with me and perhaps i too- or mere attraction or friendship - who cared to figure out ?
I didn't ask her mobile number as she had already told me that her sister-in-law enquired all her contacts and calls , and she was mean to doubt on friends too. She had only family contacts in her mobile. So , I didn't want to trouble for no reason . She gave me her email id to send her FB request. Now only , I asked her full name-'Priya ' was the reply . How stupid i was in social graces , I wondered.
Priya was emotional telling me " .......but it is bit difficult to understand you . However , you are damn true and trustworthy . A girl who will get you will surely be lucky . Chase your dreams but don't change yourself..... blah blah...."
Then she turned funny " If ever in our life we will meet again - then we must say that destiny has some plans for us , else I have got a very good friend today. " She continued " I wish you don't, but in case you fail in your love, I will like to be your option"
We laughed and bid good bye to each other. Just a formal words - no hugs, no kisses, no handshake. We believed the underneath meaning.
The tides of the breeze rippled through the loose silk of her blouse, revealing and concealing her figure.
The train started moving and she stepped towards her way on the platform. I had bad feelings and She had a drops of tears rolling on her cheeks that she managed to hide unsuccessfully.
Was this love? Who cares to know?** The name is changed for personal reasons :)
